I was in the progress of writing another post related to this one but I really wanted to dive in to this one. So the other one is safely in my drafts folder to be completed at another time. I also feel that people who follow me on twitter and/or Facebook might think this post is dealing with a recent rant, it’s not. But since there is interest in my views on that subject, guess I will go down that rabbit hole…..eventually.
TriggerWarning: this post is about death. If this is something that isn’t your thing, please continue to read. I hope that it will help you. But in all seriousness I won’t be offended if you don’t want to read this post. But if you do, I don’t want any negativity.
DISCLAIMER: I’m fine. This post is not some secret post that I’m doing that references my imminent demise. I just want to share my thoughts and hopefully help others. Pretty much the whole point of this bog. So don’t read between the lines, there are NO lines!
I am no stranger to death, if you’ve read my posts before this isn’t surprising. A Disney movie wasn’t my first death experience as it is for a lot of kids. Death has been my constant companion. I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count the number of people I’ve lost. Death is a part of life.
On the flip side, I don’t want to die, I’d be cool to live forever. Im not afraid of dying, I think. Im curious about life, I want to know what the future has in store. Will humans stop killing themselves in pointless conflicts? Will we explore more of space and colonize another planet? Will we meet other intelligent life? You get the picture, I just really want a time machine to see how or if this story ends.
I’ve never had to plan anything for someone that has passed. All my experiences with death have been with going to services. The most profound experience was with my Aunt June, who passed 11 years ago this past June. I had visited with her a number of times prior to her passing. She HATED hospitals and wanted to die at home. My Uncle Denny called us to advise she passed, he came to pick my mom and I up. We got to their house before the funeral home. I got to say goodbye to her. Other than that we were not involved she was taken away and we just hung around and were there for each other. It was an odd night and I don’t think I will forget the way my Aunt looked. That’s not a bad thing, I’m glad I was able to see her and say goodbye.
The idea came for this post came from a YouTube channel I recently discovered. I don’t know what video I watched for one of her videos to show up in my recommended but whoop one day it was there. I didn’t click on it right away. Like most people I shy away from anything death related. But I’m SO happy I jumped right in.
Let me introduce you to Caitlin Doughty.
Her YouTube channel goes by the title “Ask A Mortician”. She is delightful. Brings the conversation of and about death to an easy to consume thing. She is an advocate for death positivity. before her I’d never heard those two words together in the same sentence. It’s about time that everyone thinks those two words belong.
I’ve learned a lot. I learned what adipocere is. I’m not going to ruin that for you. Google at your own risk.
I also learned that you don’t HAVE to be embalmed. I could see myself believing a not so great funeral director who said it’s the only option. I’m not a fan of confrontation and during a stressful time such as loss of a loved one I’d be apt to go with whatever.
From what I know about funeral, they are COSTLY AF, What I learned is that they don’t have to be.
Having a plan and having conversations about what your wishes are is super important. My sister and I have had fairly informal conversations. I love that we’ve even had that. So many people shy away from that. I will be making sure that I have a plan written out that I can share with the people I trust and I hope you do as well.
At the end of the day however you feel about death is ok, what I hope by writing this and helping people find this amazing channel is that people will get more comfy with just having that conversation while we are healthy.
Here is a link to a great video of hers to jump in to. You can find her on Facebook.
Caitlin has also written a bunch of books, all of which I hope to get.
What do you think, what is something you are or are not comfortable with when it comes to this subject matter?
What do you want me to write about next?