Written on Thursday June 27th, 2019

So it’s been 3 days since I wrote my last post, since I saw the nurse practitioner at my doctors office. I had bloodwork which came back quickly, the office hasn’t called so I’m taking that as a good sign. I can see the results and there are no flags but I’m not able to fully grasp the picture it’s painting.

The other test she has ordered is a transvaginal ultrasound. If that doesn’t sound fun to you I’m in agreement with that. I’m not looking forward to it. I googled it extensively and found that it will not be pleasant. The lady who booked it said I have to drink 1L of water about an hour before hand and hold it in. I can assure you that will NOT be happening. I will drink what I can but 1L is impossible with out me vomiting it up or peeing my pants on the way there. They are so booked up that I can’t get one until July 12th with my follow up being on the 15th. That means these posts may go live at that point or may just get deleted, I’m hoping for that.

I’ve never been ashamed of having my period, I never openly talked about it outside of talking with my sister but in recent years I’ve followed in some amazingly awesome women’s footsteps. When I’m at work and have to change my pad, I don’t hide it, I carry it out in the open. I’ve openly told co-workers that I have it as a reason why I I’m feeling shitty that day. I’ve told both male and female co-workers, I don’t care! If a guy doesn’t know that this happens to women by now, not my problem. I will not be ashamed, I will be honest.

The following was written on Sunday June 30th, 2019

I feel like I should start these posts with a star date as if we are in the Star Trek universe…lol

I’m still bleeding so it’s day 16, that’s nuts. I’m uncomfortable to the point if I sit in an desk chair for long periods of time I start feeling sick. I hope that symptom is all in my head.

My sleep seems to be fairly normal but my appetite and how much food I can eat seems to be low lately. Also I’m peeing a hella much. I used to be able to go a crazy (most likely unhealthily) amount of time between feeling the need and actually peeing. Now I not only going more frequently I can’t seem to hold it as long.

I’m trying not to think of the worst but that’s always where my thoughts go to. I have a brain tumour for heavens sake so ya know… thankfully that has turned out ok-ish (so far).

I think about past lives and think I must have been a horrible person to explain all the crap I’ve had to deal with in this life. But then I think about how much easier for me it will be to be the one going through it, whatever it might be. It would be so much harder if it was my sister, or my mom going through any medical crisis, but I’m a seasoned pro. My brain also thinks that after all the testing and what not nothing will show up and the doctor will just shrug it off and I will just have to deal with it.

Written July 1st

Random thought: how can my body still be bleeding FFS? Seriously 17 days straight, morning, noon, night…where the hell is it coming from? Between the 11th and 14th day it got quite a bit heavier but has gone back to the flow rate of what it was on day 10. Still there, but heavier than what a light days pad could handle. Day 17, wow…