Bare with me… rant incoming with F bombs. You’ve been warned.

This photo is a still from an upcoming / already aired episode of Legends of Tomorrow.

If you can’t figure out yet what this rant is going to be about… you clearly don’t know me.

This Character is known as the Black Flash and as you can see like so many other fucking villains they’ve decided to make him “scary.” How did they achieve this… well they decided to fuck up his face.

I’m so fucking tired of never “seeing” myself on TV and instead seeing “bad dudes” made up to look like a version of me. I’m tired of saying that the only character I can identify with is The Phantom (he doesn’t even have a name!) from The Phantom of the Opera. I’m tired of realizing that kids today born as I was STILL have never seen a true, honest, “normal” role in a movie or TV show that represents them.

When they choose to cast able bodied or “normal” looking folks in roles in which they play someone disabled or with a visible difference (facial or otherwise) I often hear people say (in defence when I start ranting) that “well maybe no one with that disorder, disability, facial difference auditioned or may not have been a good enough actor to play the role or that they don’t exist”. You know why that is? Because we are not GIVEN A SNOWBALLS CHANCE IN FUCKING HELL to try.

If I went to an open casting call I’d be laughed out the door. If they are looking for someone with a difference it’s normally a tiny role meant to further the plot in some way or the actor/difference is being used as inspirational porn.

I get that I will never win an Oscar, I will never be an actor. I work in a call centre because I was NEVER told I could be anything I wanted to be or DO anything I wanted to do. You know what? That’s because I never had to be told that, I already knew. It’s 20FUCKING17 and in a time where we are focused on valid world issues such as #BlackLivesMatter (Damn right they do), #Feminism and all of the other valid struggles;  those with facial differences are STILL screwed over. There is ZERO public outcry, or a desire for society to change this. Zero movements or effort to raise funds for organizations that actively help those with facial differences navigate life.

Side note: In most workshops I have attended run by groups like this they actually advocate to call the employer ahead of time to “warn” them that you have a facial difference. FUCK THAT, if you see me and the first thought is FUCK she’s ugly and you decide NOT to hire me, you can go tuck yourself. I have ZERO desire to give anyone the chance to prejudge me. I’m tired of the fact that there is a HUGE assumption that just because we look different it automatically means we have a lower IQ. When I’m with anyone and we encounter a stranger the stranger will AUTOMATICALLY start talking with the person I’m with as if I don’t even exist. This is ALWAYS the most evident when I’m training a new volunteer. Someone will walk through the door and even when I say “can I help you” with my trainee by my side, the person will IGNORE me and first speak with my trainee (they clearly miss the deer in headlights vacant look most of my trainees have that first day). I have NEVER mentioned this but anyone of my trainees who reads this can probably remember this happening.

I step out in public every fucking day to provide for my family when there are days I’d rather stay home than venture out KNOWING I’m going to get stared at, looked at, laughed at, pointed at, and talked about. I step outside every fucking day and endure that and when it happens I either want to cry or snap. I FUCKING gave the finger to a kid at Costco yesterday and I laughed. I laughed because the alternative was either teaching that kid a few new swear words or cry. I can’t go out and shop in piece… nope I have to deal with shit like that. Most articles produced for those with facial differences talk about how to approach such topics, suggesting we make eye contact or politely strike up a conversation. I disagree with ALL of these methods; how about we start teaching children at an early age that people come in all sorts of shapes, colours, and flavours. How about we start producing movies, art, TV that show all walks of life so that when everyone is growing up we see EVERYONE and oh look no one is considered a freak (unless you like that sort of thing). It’s akin to victim blaming; I have to approach you differently simply because you’ve never seen another human being that looks different even though unless you are a twin we all look different from one another anyways.  I’m ok with being the anti-role model; I’m ok teaching kids to stick up for themselves and being able to tell others to mind their own business and stop fucking starring at them; they should be allowed to be anything they want to be but instead we teach little kids with differences that you have to teach others ducking decent human manners.

YES, I have a job, I have a house, I have a sister who is my rock (shout out and lots of love to Crystal), I have amazing friends and co-workers and complete strangers who think I’m awesome. That helps it really does however this post if for the rest of the world, to those agents, casting managers, film makers etc… Pull your heads out of your ass! I’m FUCKING tired of all of this shit. Yes to those who support me (you know who you are) I get that I’m loved, I get that I’m luckier that probably 80% of the world but that doesn’t help me get out the door every morning. If anything it adds to it. I have a voice I can say ALL of this but it won’t make a difference. Those countries who treat their disabled like shit will continue to do so, those countries who throw away their children because they look different will continue to do so. Until we as a society decide that those with differences are a VALUE and not trash, not something to be pitted the world will NOT change and I will continue to have to write these words. I won’t stop, as much as it gets me mad, upset, everything I will gladly take on ALL of that. I would take on all the hurt that children suffer and I would be ok, I’m USED to it! I keep putting one foot in front of the other because if I dared to stop, I would crumble and I wouldn’t be any good to anyone.

PLEASE share this, please ADD to it. Tell YOUR story! Together we can change the world; one voice really CAN make a difference.