Yesterday I posted about my extremely brief foray into online dating, I wrote about how I felt it failed. Let me expand on that today.
I got a lot of great feedback, I also saw some comments suggesting I gave up far too quickly, that I should have stuck it out because not all guys are dicks, or assholes. I do know this, I have met real life guys who are awesome, they’re already taken.
I’m pretty self-aware, I know who I am, I know what my flaws are. One being I’m not willing to compromise what I’m looking for. I’m a very independent woman, I take after my mom in that trait. I know I don’t NEED a guy in my life, that isn’t to say I don’t want one ’cause I do. I know that I would be ok going through life as is, alone, doing my own thing but I do understand the quote:
I have this vision of my “perfect” guy (yes I can hear that laugh and snicker) and I won’t settle. It’s not a visual image, lord knows I don’t judge in that department, but it’s more of a emotional image. I want a guy who just fits right in, I want a certain feeling and I can’t get that online.
It’s more my fault than theirs, with online dating I’m always suspicious, always waiting for the other shoe to drop. This is yet another flaw of mine, I’m always poised waiting for the other shoe to drop. I get weirded out easily by guys online claiming to “have a connection” because if I’m truly honest, I don’t feel it and I don’t know how to say that.
I have been told I have unrealistically high expectations when it comes to what I’m looking for. I want a guy who also knows who he is, he has a job (or does volunteer work in the event he can’t work), I want someone who loves animals and music equally, who would attend a hockey game one night, and an art exhibit the next. I want someone who loves camping, skiing, video games and boarded games, also being handy wouldn’t hurt. I don’t want someone much older than me, I know age is only a number but for some reason it’s important to me.
I didn’t give up online dating because someone told me I was ugly, I did give it up because the potential to be told that on a regular basis is exhausting. I get that in the real world, I get it, don’t need to keep beating that nail on the head. I gave up online dating after a short time because I knew it wasn’t the right outlet for me. I need to interact in the real world, I need to see their facial expressions, hear their tone of voice.
It’s not them, it’s me!