Today, I find it really hard to sit here and write. I have a whole list of really great ideas and a lot of them came from you but for some reason every time I stare a the list or try to write I just get utterly exhausted.
I do enjoy writing, and on some days I think I’m actually pretty good at it, not great, wouldn’t be able to make money off of my writing but I’m not horrible. Just some days I just get so exhausted and I lack the motivation to do, well anything.
My sister Crystal has been awesome tonight giving me a few more ideas to write about (they are on the list) but I thought I would talk about something that I’m sure we have all dealt with, lack of motivation.
With our ever increasingly busy lives sometimes it can be hard to carve out even just a few minutes to ourselves and I have found that this generally snowballs to the point where when we do have those precious few minutes all we can muster up the energy to do is sit down somewhere cozy and just sleep, or read, or watch TV.
I think also I have been bothered all day by a comment I revived by someone I’m not all that close with. I’m not sure why it’s bothering me so much, maybe because deep down I fear it’s true. The comment was simple, and to the point “your blog sucks”, let me give you some back ground. The individual has admitted to being bi-polar, has not sought any sort of treatment and has been known to self medicate. In the interactions I have had with this individual they were all over the map, either really sweet, nice, complimentary, to downright rude and mean. I have been very patient throughout the yo-yo roller coaster but had decided that for my own mental sanity I would no longer to be able to engage with this person. The individual had befriended me, unfriended me, befriended me, and most recently again unfriended me on Facebook and I had kept accepting he request because I’m not mean and I understand that supporting those with mental health issues is so important, I want to be able to support and help where I can but with this individual I was out of my depth and scope and the last straw for me was that comment. I’m not a stranger to mean comments….it’s a been there heard that kind of thing but somehow I have let it seep in to my head and it has drained my motivation to write today. I’m also worried about a friend who work up too having her car stolen this morning, I feel so helpless because I can’t drive, I can’t help her at all but to be there for her…ugh…Please forgive my rant..might help me!
Sometimes the lack of motivation is overwhelming, when I know I have 4 loads of laundry, or I have to go out and run errands, when I have to clean the bathrooms, or the big one; I have to go to work! It’s so rough some days.
What I would love to hear from all of you (besides your agreement, because who hasn’t felt this way) is how you get/keep your motivation? When you are all out of energy (or as my sister would say fucks to give) what do you do to get yourself up, how you get all that stuff done?
Tomorrow should be a better day, looking forward to an awesome offsite work meeting from 12:30pm to 5pm where our CEO will be live streaming from a different city. This will be the first time I have heard him speak “live” and I’m excited to hear what he has to say, what the future will hold. I won’t be able to really talk about it but I might say a few words about it tomorrow.
I know that this entry is not “up to standard” sorry for that…I do really appreciate all of the support you all give me, it’s one of my motivations for writing everyday and I hope to be able to continue to write everyday. It’s just some days really do just suck!
One thought on “Motivation…or lack there of”
To suggest that your blog sucks is absurd. Sounds to me like sour grapes, combined perhaps with a desire to lash out at someone with you being nearest at the time. I’d give advice but I don’t have much advice for depression, beyond that I’ve already given. But Anne Lander’s advice is advice I keep near at hand.. “Never give thoughts you are uncomfortable hosting free rent in your mind”.
But regarding motivation.. when I’m going I am very going, but when I am stopped I am not. This is particularly challenging for me because (a) I am expected to be self motivated (b) I work from home with little oversight and (c) I’m often tackling problems I don’t have a clue how to solve and fear I never will. I hate sitting in a chair doing nothing, so I procrastinate to take my mind off the fact I’m going nowhere. And this can easily become a vicious cycle. All a bit absurd because I’d far rather be productive than miserable. But it is easier to fall into holes than climb back out of them.